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"The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

Cest une chanson, qui nous ressemble
Toi tu maimais et je taimais
Nous vivions tous, les deux ensemble
Toi que maimais moi qui taimais
Mais la vie spare ceux qui saiment
Tout doucement sans faire de bruit
Et la mer efface sur le sable les pas des amants dsunis"

Search youtube for the versions sung by Nat King Cole and Edith Piaf, they're really good. I'm not too sure about the accuracy of the French lyrics.

Life in grainy colored pixels.
A lot has happened in the past 3 years, most of them permanent and irreparable.
I grieve.
I bought a journal, I guess this spells the end of this blog.
However, sporadic entries can be expected.
Take the "sporadic" bit very seriously.

Goodbye, world!

36小时!

仿佛时间真的会冲淡一切.
其实不会的.
它让你了解连回忆都已经令你震撼.
失意,才是从新生活的启发点...

my friends are not very good influences. why,... why do they tell me about gossip girl's new episodes two days before my final paper? :(

on the other hand, nate still wins hands down - what's the deal with smarmy chuck?! and the thing with vanessa kind of works... hmmm.
little j's blunt haircut a la jennifer aniston perhaps two years back is cute.
g is gorgeous but such a little bitch.

b got a little fatter!

andANDand I should be studying. pronto.

kalyn. 爱上了雨 says:
you're sweating cos you're a pig and i'm not
kalyn. 爱上了雨 says:
kekeke
ah zhao: says:
lol
ah zhao: says:
then i must be a realli realli smart pig
ah zhao: says:
pig with human brain
ah zhao: says:
in other words
ah zhao: says:
i m zhu ba jie
kalyn. 爱上了雨 says:
HAHAHAHA
kalyn. 爱上了雨 says:
can i blog this
kalyn. 爱上了雨 says:
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee?
ah zhao: says:
cann
ah zhao: says:
猪八戒

"Refined Elegance"

...and I laughed.

(L) China.

小妹长大了!对不起, 我好象不会写你的中文名字...

希望你往日的路不会太难走.
希望你脸上常带着笑容.
希望你知道我一直会在你身边.

:)

要从何说起?

人,相信本性都不坏. 每个人要的, 最基本的, 应该想要幸福吧.
奇怪,为何总把事情越搞越复杂. 从无到有.
为何需要藏那么多秘密,为何需要撒慌.

想不通.

就不能安分守己,和睦相处麽?
把全世界踩在脚底下能带给你什么?

开心不容易.
睁一只眼,闭一只眼.
假装什么都不知道.

躲坏人.

Hope you had a good one! Will shop for your present after exammania!

(Although Pingying was the one who created this... but hey, she wouldn't mind, right? :D )

In the midst of attempting to know about every single case there is on each chapter, the thing I like best is standing in the middle of the courtyard, catching some sunshine :) though I must admit I look a bit odd to the people who happenchance by, standing as if I'm waiting for somebody but nobody appears!

...And of course, helping crispz out of a situation! (Refer to fb.)

Yippedeedodah!

(I just generally happy because exam panic hasn't struck. Yet.)

Starbucks Peppermints. Punggol Nasi Lemak. Hair Gel. Dance Synergy. My Chemical Romance's the Black Parade. McCafe. NEL MRT. Olio Dome. Ralph Lauren Polos.

Questions.

Why?

I couldn't think of a better title. Anyway, I've been having weird dreams - AGAIN!

Yesterday night, I dreamt that... the first and second floors of BTC had cafes and pizzerias and what-nots. My mom, big sis, fourth sis and brother were there and I remember ordering yoghurt for one of them, because my mom insisted it was all in English and she didn't know how to order and she didn't know what was on the menu. Somebody ordered something else but it wasn't available because they were closed for post-lunch cleanup and that something else needed a sauce which needed to be prepared! (That was also why the yoghurt was available - because it didn't need preparation in the kitchen.)

I also dreamt that... I was driving, and there was this horrendous traffic jam. In order to "cut queue", I cut into the nearest small road, which led to lamborghini's lobby, and because they were so high-class, the space you drove into was the car lift, and your car would be whisked away to an automated carpark! VERY UNFORTUNATELY, because I didn't drive a lambo, but a mere shoddy lancer, THE LIFT WOULD NOT MOVE. For some sad reason I was standing in the middle of the lobby next to my poor lancer holding a rag in my hands, looking at everyone else with their lambos at the showroom being treated very nicely. Talk about ouch.

I also dreamt that... one of my friends (I remember who but I'm not going to say who!) got into a car accident and she lost her hand, so that she has her arms and all but in place of her hands there was a stump, and she lost her right leg!!! WTF :( Must have been the video clip I caught on mrbrown about a cyclist who lost one leg but amazingly could still cycle and make deliveries for a living!

And the worst worst thing perhaps was that throughout the entire night I was thinking to myself that I'm not asleep!!!

And the day before yesterday night I dreamt that I had a big house. The first floor of my house had a very high ceiling, two-storeys high :)

Which crazy bugger dreams of cars and houses every night! HAHAHAHA.

It took me 22 years to learn that its not "dosen't", but "doesn't". Thanks MS Word!

Probably the first good day of the Year.

Publicity kicked off,

I didn't fail my assignment (yay!),

Shopping,

Tennis (with two of my favourite people in the world),

Big dinner,

TELEVEEEEEEESION.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Ok, now back to the grind.

My antivirus is outdated, and I can't access many sites, blogger being one of them.

Well the only thing is, I've been wondering if our(my) life has too many things in it and should be de-cluttered. The only reason why we watch TV is because they lead the lives we want for us. They don't have as many factors in their lives.

Hmmm.

I went to the botanic gardens a couple of days ago and tramped around on the grass for a bit. Now I have bites the size of 50 cents coins so keep to the pathways no matter how tempting the grass looks.

Spells of self doubt still haunt me regularly, its no good, no good at all.

The No. 4 should be important for some NS guys. The number four is significant for me now - the fourth overnight-er I'm pulling this semester. Some things work out to be really odd. I thought I'd have more time to work on my stuff with much less commitments, but apparently not so. Overnight stints used to be great fun when I was a kid; now, its just a reflection of life and plodding along.

I begin to lose hope of ever going to bed with a mind not embroiled in thoughts and worries.

When I read the poster advertising the talk in commemoration of Dr Lim Boon Keng, his year of death, 1957, hit me. I knew that datementally ! Its the kind of knowledge where a certain thing is immediately associated with something else. Like... How talking about Hanting brings Brenda into mind pronto.

So I was furiously thinking. Being quite bad with dates, I mentally flipped through MANY MANY EVENTS. Establishment of NUS? Couldn't be... NUS just celebrated its centennial year, so it would have been in the 1900s. Temasek JC? All JCs are relatively young, the oldest being 20+ maybe 30 years old. Therefore, wouldn't have been established that long. Errrrh Singapore? Couldn't be... Singapore is 40+ years old right and date of independence is... OH, 1965. (I don't know why date of independence sometimes slips my mind).

Oh yes, Cedar Girls'. Hahahaha I'm such a bimbo. Cedar Girls' was established in 1957 with enrollment of 507 girls!

My brain thinks funny things sometimes. Waste brainpower on nothing important, really. Pfffft.

Sometimes, people amuse me. A lot. Well more specifically, the double faced ones, with double standards clearly laid out for the world to see. Or, those nosey ones who ask damn a lot of questions because they only wanna know details under the guise of caring about you. Or, those who slam accusations on you to make themselves feel better and make you feel like shit for no good reason.

Did you think people won't be able to tell how fake you are?

Keep your sanity and don't allow yourself to be bothered by them. Its a good thing to transit from being irritated and angered by their less-than-thoughtful and often selfish words, to being personally removed from the situation and even amused.

Is a good thing. Good progress award. :D

I'm very thankful that there was no fracture, no broken bones, and most importantly, no blood.

Something's watching over me.

Even if this paper dosen't kill me, Mt Rinjani might. Its an active volcano. But its a tourist hotspot apparently. So now all I have to do is tell my Momma I'm going trekking in Indonesia AND ALL WILL BE FINE :)

Nownow, lets see if I can continue with the verbal diarrhoea. Might possibly result in my first D, E or F. :D

[[Edit]] : Why Postsecret never update?

48 hours: 10.5 hours down, 37.5 hours to go, 770/5000 words, many stacks of papers, and one bag of pepperidge farm chocolate chunk dark chocolate pecan cookies.

Three weeks' torture is coming to an end.

C'monnnnnnnnnnnn! (More to encourage myself and tell myself not to waste any of the 37.5 sleeping if I possibly can.)

It is no coincidence that my second pair of footwear has given way in as many days. In addition to the other three previously mentioned pairs of Havaianas. There's something wrong with the way I walk, evidently. The only other plausible explanation is that the rain caused it, caused the glue to disintegrate and the slipper to give way, but I seriously doubt it.

Back to asics. [Yepp, I'm toddling around school in sports shoes but better than going Red Indian a la barefoot innit?]

Now, do I start from a crawl?

I'm a day late - his birthday is 12 March, and he passed away some 13 years ago at the age of 87. That would mean he passed on 4 years before I ever heard of him.

According to Channelnewsasia, President S R Nathan said:

"In our early years, under colonial domination, he made us, in Singapore, aware of who we are and made us dream of independence. He was a giant of a man in that he sought to inspire in us a sense of hope and what we needed to be."

I remember him from my Secondary school social studies and history lessons. And of course the infamous episode where he placed a table under a tree and made that his office when the British wouldn't recognise his powers as PM.

I would love dearly to meet him. Its difficult to find someone who lives for a dream nowadays - we're (or perhaps its just me?) all so practical and we'd take the well-trodden path so long as its been proven to work for others.

I would love to believe in, and live, a dream as well.

Happy Birthday, Mr Marshall.

Puertty Patrick Cox cufflinks. Yummm. :)

!

Something to look forward to :)

21-28 June.

5 days volcano + 3 days beach = 8 days bitchfest.

Yay!

I'm scared. The fears won't go away. They're like a broken gramophone, certain bits keep playing and playing and playing. And you don't know how to turn it off. The other bits of my brain say, it'll be alright. You try to manhandle fate and twist it to suit your fancy, but sometimes, it'll never turn out the way you plan it to.

kalyn. says:
everytime i talk, i feel like i must say the correct thing somemore because i'm going to be a lawyer
kalyn. says:
what nonsense!
kalyn. says:
i don't know anything lah!
kalyn. says:
hahaha
kalyn. says:
ok end of blabbering
True Goddass says:
haha
True Goddass says:
i know u are gg to complain
kalyn. says:
haha
kalyn. says:
what!
kalyn. says:
cos i'm always complaining right
True Goddass says:
no la
True Goddass says:
iam good with that
kalyn. says:
haha what?
True Goddass says:
iam fine with ur blabbering..

[complete and unabridged]

I love my friends. Wanjing lets me bully her too :D

1. I was so preoccupied yesterday night, I left $$$ at the ATM. I impatiently waited for the machine to spit my card out, dumped wallet card and all into bag, and went off. Seeing as how school is rather deserted at night, I wonder if nobody spotted the red ten dollar notes, and perhaps the machine sucked the money back in? Well it would have happened sooner or later, I'm thankful that it wasn't like $2000.

2. After not collecting my money, I headed for the carpark. Obviously, BTC is too poor to install proper lighting, so I was walking in partial darkness. Obviously also, a line was put up 10cm from the floor demarcating nothing (since there was no works in the area). Obviously I wouldn't spot the line unless I knew where to look and squinted hard at the spot. I sprawled onto the floor, birthday bag following after me. I really don't mind scratches, but my birthday bag...!!!

Thankfully the bag is fine. (Especially for Alichia! The bag is unscathed although I fell so hard I bled and now my hand is all numb >.< The wonders of advanced technologies and material science :D )

But then again, earlier on in the day, I saw the line in bright daylight and crossed it without any accident. Perhaps I have a short term memory of 8 hours.

//wails

Twas not a good Thursday night.

Today is one of those days where I feel like sticking my head in the ground so that I can tell people I don't know anything I didn't see anything I don't understand anything and I have nothing to give so don't come looking for me.

Is that why my friend likes diving?

So I shall never get to be Rapunzel, first and foremost because I have a tendency to cut my hair really short once every three years.

It usually turns out quite horribly and I try to stay home and hope that my hair will hurry up and grow out.

Very unfortunately, after awhile (i.e. three years), I'll start to wonder what I'll look like with short hair, perhaps I can emulate others' chic looks, perhaps this time round, with a better and more skillful hairdresser, I won't look half bad.

BUT NO. EVERYTIME IT TURNS OUT UGLY.

And, omg, that urge is here again. Tell me how to stop it, how to make it go away. Pri 3, Pri 6, Sec 3, Pre-uni... Yep its been three years alright.

:(

Because my sec4 sister, whose surname is neo, has a logic that goes...

"Mummy you have to buy me a laptop because Yongyu jammed up the PC by creating so many accounts and I can't even download this file(presumably a song or a writeup about one of her many Taiwanese pop idols)."

Wow(Shouldn't the solution be to teach my brother not to do that and to undo the mess he created). If I was able to use such reasons to get what I wanted, all my wants would be satisfied! :)

Am spending way too much time with my (un)trusty Thinkpad. Imagine, I'm still in school, attempting to churn out 3k worth of words.

I don't know how to say I'm annoyed. It seems that perhaps only Peggy and Sumiko Tan can ever understand what I think, or feel for that matter.

It is no sin to be single.

Yet another of my well-meaning friend will read the bold sentence and think how sad it is that I hold such a view, and that I should not be so rigid (or, perhaps, frigid?), and that I should just learn to accept people, and the world with its little innate problems.

"Oh poor poor Kalyn, she should just step down from her pedestal."

But nay, I think it is they who do not understand me. I do not need assaults on my methodologies just because they do not conform with the norm. Further, it may not occur to the one who suggests it, but there may in fact be no pedestal at all. We view the world only with the senses that we have but we are painfully unaware (and usually have not stopped to consider the possibility) of what senses we are lacking to view the world with(ergo, what we are missing out on, which we can't help, but anyway which exists but we can't identify and never suspected we were missing).

In other words, if we hold differing views, it does not mean you are correct. Therefore, I would much appreciate it if you proffered your view and left it at that, instead of attempting to stuff it down my throat.

Once before I caved. I caved in to peer pressure and thought, why not? But then not long after the event, I flipped and I ran away. So this time, I know better. Against the passers-by who merely comment and know not the extent of the effects of whatever they are suggesting, I trust my judgment.

It irks me that though I know clearly I should listen to myself and be less doubtful of myself, sometimes I am also affected by what people say. It just does not make sense, that I know what they are saying may be of little value, but the roar of majority consensus can sometimes rock my foundations.

Why, I ask?

I really do not need any assaults. Please. It may be that we all define the same things differently, but views which are different from yours ought to be respected as well. Know that your oft-baseless queries (because I do not hold your beliefs) results in unnecessary self-doubt. Please restrain yourselves from saying hurtful things.

So i note, with much amusement, the number of toothbrushes in the toilet. See, there are 10 people in the house. My sister and uncle stay on the third floor and have their own toilet. My maid stays on the first floor and has her own toilet. My mom dad sister and brother use the master bedroom toilet. Why then, do i count 8 toothbrushes in my toilet?!

Also, although i'm right handed, i can't brush my teeth with my right hand. It just dosen't work that way. I can only brush my teeth with my left hand.

Cable tv was recently reintroduced in my house. It shames me to admit that it took me more than half an hour to figure out how to use it(and that was because my sister came along and taught me).

I can't install msn anymore, am currently on webmessenger. :(

2 assignments, 1 mid-sem test, 1 exam looking at me right now!

Why does the headache never go away? :( Its there when i wake up, its there when I've been up and about and out for too long, it seems like its always there and I can't concentrate and it annoys me so.

I've had peace of mind since I dropped French, I think. And definitely a lot more rest. My good friend Joel says that sleep is overrated. I guess its true but then I am really very lazy. For example, I just slept/read the whole Sunday away. A few times I attempted to do my readings, but my brain just wouldn't focus.

Its not like me to declare my love for people, it embarrasses me, but I'm thankful for friends who try to understand (dosen't matter if they do or don't) and be there. Its very heartening to know that although I probably don't deserve it (for a variety of reasons, mostly because I'm not up to scratch as a friend), people still love me. I really really am touched.

Like how we spend time after classes mulling over issues for a bit, or go for suppers at Serangoon Gardens to mull over yet more issues, or how my friend goes to the IBM repair centre for me because I'm avoiding the IBM guy since he gave me a postcard with his details and his church add and bade me to join him for Saturday service, or how my friends readily agree to play tennis with me (despite my skill-less-ness at it) and have a hearty dinner.

:D

For all these, I am thankful.

And a reference to the title, I really like the old chinese songs played on 88.3FM! Mayday is holding another concert in Singapore, but very unfortunately I don't think I can get good seats and therefore I am not going. :(

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